Have you ever gotten so hooked on a TV series that it was kind of discombobulating when it ended with no resolution? Maybe it wasn’t renewed so they didn’t have the chance to wrap everything up with a nice bow. Or maybe, as is my case so often, you’ve signed up for a free trial of something (like, ESPN - so I could see the Buckeyes win! 🏈👏) and gotten sucked into some show. But the free trial ended and now you’re left hanging 🤨.

You may be surprised to know this is how we therapists (spiritual directors, coaches, soul care providers, etc.) feel about our clients. We get so involved in your story and feel so honored to be a small part of it. But, when that season is over and the therapeutic relationship ends, we’re stuck with not knowing. Because, you know, boundaries. It’s how it’s supposed to be.

But my heart is singing with gratitude...

...because so many of you reached out to say hi after my reconnection email. Whether you’re a former client, business associate, or friend, I have LOVED hearing where you are, how you are, where you’ve grown and where you’re still being challenged (welcome to the journey!). It helps me to know how to pray for you. From the couch.

And by the way, that’s also as it should be. So often I want to “fix” (myself and others). But that’s not my role, nor is it even possible. Instead, I just want to trust that He has us. Somehow.

Which brings me to

CONTROL, which I laid down this week. Again.

I got a text from a sibling that was so innocuous I won’t even share it. But something in me was hurt and I felt defensive and wanted to make sure they knew I was in the right. Instead, thankfully, I went to Jesus and asked Him: “Lord, what’s the LIE I'm believing that makes me want to control (others, my situation, my life!)?” And the answer? That if I DON’T control, I’ll be hurt.

Truly, I know (in my head) this isn’t true. But the young part of me that WAS hurt, and still gets triggered in certain circumstances, very quickly gets mad or sad or scared and then reacts accordingly. If I don’t stop and check in with myself, and instead just accept the reaction as justified (and the underlying ‘belief’ as fact), I’ll continue to be even more hurt than what I’m trying to control for in the first place.

So, I have to be intentional. Remain vigilant and aware of my automatic reactions, thoughts, and emotions. I’ve done the work and that part of me HAS been healed. But the remnants in my flesh can still rise up seemingly without warning. I want to be kind to myself, understand that I'm (still) on the journey, and take it to Jesus.

So, once again, I gave Him back Control. And then asked Him what He’d give me in exchange. His answer? “Uncertainty.” WHAT?

Yay. Uncertainty. oh joy.

Yep. Uncertainty. Which is not comfortable, but is more realistic and can absolutely lead to more of Him, more of my True Self, and exponentially more peace.

Gotta get comfortable in the uncertainty of life.

We’ll talk more about that next time.

So, to recap:

• Ask yourself (better yet, ask the Holy Spirit) where you tend to want to control?
• Then consider what lie you’re believing that says you need to control. And finally,
• Ask God what does He want for you instead? Maybe even spend some time imagining a future where you’re at peace in that area of your life, instead of trying to control, because you trust in Him (Rom 8:28) The more you can see it the more you can believe it.

Remember, above all else, we CAN be certain of His character and His goodness. ALWAYS. In all ways.

​

Would love to hear how you deal with control/uncertainty and where you go with any of the questions above!

​

In the meantime, have a blessed week and know that I'm

Celebrating YOU!

Maggie. 💜